When Difficult Departures Occur

Occasionally, Monday mornings can bring difficult separations for our kids. After a few days away from the routines of the week, and lots of quality time at home with the family, Monday morning can be frustrating and confusing for the children as they acclimate themselves back into their school schedule. Even for the child who is completely comfortable in his or her care environment, periods of tearful departures during morning drop-off will come and go as the child's attachment to those she cares about most matures. It can be especially difficult for parents, who often feel rushed at the beginning of the day already, and occasionally must leave their children in a state of apparent despair, worried if their child will be okay after they leave. Nothing can compare to those happy, secure moments when Mom or Dad walks out the door of the classroom and gets to see a cheerful wave from their child as they go. But each of our parents knows its not always this easy.

There are several things that parents already do in our classroom to help make the morning transition easier. Our parents allow for a little extra time at the beginning of the day to be with their child as he begins his interaction with the materials in the environment and his peers. This shows a child that the classroom environment is a place where Mom or Dad enjoy being as well, that it is a place where both parent and child belong, and not somewhere that the parent is rushing away from. This sort of relaxed departure doesn't have to be a luxury that cuts into your schedule- even a few extra minutes may help your child feel more at ease. Allow yourself to be in the environment while your child is exploring, allow her to feel secure enough to move away from you and play while you are passively near by. Our parents are also great about direct departures. While it may feel easier to slip away while your child is distracted by something else, the moment always comes when the child realizes that the parent is gone- and if the child feels like he hasn't had the chance to say goodbye, it could make him feel even more insecure about the next time he comes to school, unsure of when the parent will leave. A child who can look at her parents as they are leaving and hear the words, "Goodbye, I'll be back for you after lunch," will come to trust those words, as they are proven to be true consistently day after day. Even when its hard, and a child is crying during a direct departure, the sense of security will be much stronger over time. With practices such as these, all of the children in our class have come to have secure feelings about coming into school in the morning and parting ways with their parents, even if periods of relapse into insecure feelings do occur.

Here's one more technique that you may want to try if you find that your child is coming into a period of difficult morning departures. (And a period is sure to come for each of our toddlers as their attachments mature through toddlerhood.) Many parents develop a morning routine or ritual with their child for the morning. Once, I had a parent who had her child show her the fish in the fish tank each morning before she left. Another parent had her child touch his finger to hers through the glass window of the room as she left in the morning. The advantage of rituals such as these is that they are actions which become familiar and routine to the child and signal the time for Mom or Dad to leave when they occur. The child knows, "Okay, this is the last step before Mom has to leave." When used consistently, even during times of easy departures, morning rituals can go a long way in helping a child feel secure about saying goodbye in the morning. If you'd like some more ideas about establishing a morning ritual with your child in the classroom, just let me know.

For this Monday morning, while a few tears and frustrated squeals did accompany the typically hectic arrival time, our wonderful group of kids settled right into the usual rhythms of the classroom within the half hour. By 8:30, I looked around the classroom and saw children intently engaged all around me. Boone was splashing his fingers around a sensory tray with a puddle of soapy water in it- which caught Jackson's attention as well after he had finished ringing a set of bells. Landon was trying to keep the big rubber balls in place as Mr. Chris bounced them around. Benjamin had found his way into the cardboard box house where Celia was playing peek-a-boo with him as she opened and shut the windows cut out of the side. Matthew had found a wall of blocks that Mr. Milton had made, and was ready to choose a book to be read, while Preston studied the rough texture of the carpet square he was scratching through with his fingertips. This is what a group of children looks like when they are engaged by one another and their environment, and when they have developed secure, trusting feelings about that care environment, with great help from parents like you. With that in mind, we hope you'll never feel like its a burden on us to have a child cry when you leave. Working together we know that we all help to create secure attachments for our children, and a few tears here and there are always to be expected.

Welcome!

Welcome to the Half-Day Baby Blog! We hope this will be a fun, easy way to share stories and pictures from our classroom. We can also plan events and share resources here.

We have one confirmed case of Rotavirus in our classroom, though the child diagnosed has not been in class for the entire week. We have two children out with diarrhea, but these are not confirmed cases of any particular virus. Information about Rotavirus can be found posted outside our classroom door. Rest assured we are taking every measure to make sure the classroom environment is completely sanitized. Still, extra precautions always help. Make sure you are engaging your child in frequent handwashing. Its a good idea to wash hands on the way out of the building, in addition to the usual arrival handwashing.

Between our three babies with diarrhea and a few more on vacation, we only had three kids in our class today. With a one-to-one teacher child ratio, we had the opportunity to take a little fieldtrip to the new Center City Park downtown while on a buggy ride. It was a beautiful day; we felt the cool breezes on our faces as we walked down to the park, and the warm sun shinning down. The kids loved to see the fountains in action. We took a close and careful look and laughed when the breeze blew mist from the fountain in our face. We watched as the water shot up high into the sky. The big lawn gave us a lush, green yard to crawl and run around. We took a close look at some dafodills, taking the time to smell them and touch the colorful yellow petals. It was a wonderful opportunity to find new things to look at, touch, and listen to.

If we had some parent volunteers, we could plan another trip like this when all the kids are here. What do you think? With just two parents along, we would have a one-to-two ratio, and could have a safe, exctiting walk to the park. Let us know if you're interested.